Easter Bunny Caught In Germany: Film At 11

I was raised Jewish, am now a Unitarian Universalist, and love Easter. Go figure... maybe it's the chocolate bunnies, brightly colored eggs, and big dinners.

Speaking of bunnies, this photo popped up with the heading "Real Easter Bunny Caught". I showed my two kids the photo, still unclear whether they believed in the Easter Bunny.

Instead of comment on the rabbit's size or where it came from, my nine-year-old exclaimed, "WHOA! Someone caught the real Easter Bunny??!? They are so lucky."

I guess he still believes. Aren't kids funny?

Save Spaghetti-O's!

In 1978, my mom got a big important job in Boston and joined the legions of liberated working moms. I joined the legions of latchkey kids, proudly wearing our silver house key under my rainbow shirt.

It is then that I fell in love with Chef Boy-R-Dee. Strange name, but his food was awesome to a pre-teen kid entrusted to use one pot, a spoon, and the oven.

Spaghetti-O's ruled... I ate a big warm bowl during cartoons when I got home, and my love affair with comfort food began. Today, various trainers, gym memberships, and weight loss products owe a huge debt of gratitude to Chef, who invented the most delicious and fattening yummies on the planet. If food is love, I'm "Client 9" in a clandestine affair with... Spaghetti-O's. Don't forget the bread and butter to dip it in. Carb-a-licious!

The Onion is reporting the possible demise of my favorite comfort food:
http://www.theonion.com/content/node/28022#email_this. Speak up for the defenseless circular pasta, with meatballs or franks!

Everything's Irish if you add an O'

One of my muses is my daughter, who is hysterical on a daily basis. She's done all the usual toddler/preschool tricks: "decorated" her room with a Sharpie, smeared worldly possessions with "found" Vaseline, cut her hair with scissors, danced in front of a movie theater screen to the cheers of hundreds... heck, kids do the darndest things, and are constant sources of humor.

Today is St. Patrick's Day, a very, very big deal in my town where names like Sullivan, Hennessey, Fitzpatrick and Connelly are commonplace. At an "Our Heritage" assembly at the elementary school, 13 of the 20-odd kids in the classroom waved the Irish flag symbolizing their family's heritage. Or claimed heritage. Either way, you do the math.... it's a big deal here.

However, my green-garbed cherub came home from kindergarten and told us they had to add an O' in front of everyone's name just for fun "like, just for a day or for the rest of their lives or until tomorrow - well, like, whatever". Imagine the little Pakistani kid's tears... I'm sure he doesn't want an O apostrophe in front of his name. I'm not sure that was exactly a "culturally sensitive" classroom gag, but she thought it was as funny as a leprechaun's arse protruding from a pot o' gold, gosh and begorrah. Or as funny as the time "last week, or last month, whatever" when the entire kindergarten class, entrusted to make it from the art room back to the classroom without a teacher, made a detour to hide in an empty classroom "in the corner, where no one could see us or hear us." Good times for that kindergarten teacher who couldn't find her class of 23, huh? She should have sent a few leprechauns on those tricksters... if that story told to me by my own little leprechaun is even true. About 75 percent of her stories are, I'd wager.

Now go celebrate in a culturally sensitive way by hanging green beads around your neck, drinking green beer that stains your tongue and clothing, and eating fried food that will clog up your o'arteries. I'm going outside to go chase some pesky snakes out of my backyard.

Why don't the really famous have helpers?

I try hard to be a supermom, but I can't do it all. I juggle my family, running a PR firm, community and Unitarian church volunteerism, business networking and social time with friends and family. It's simply overwhelming. I love the mom-ism: "I love my husband, but I need a wife."

I was watching a History Channel show about Jesus and Judas, and it got me thinking... why is it that truly effective leaders have a "sidekick" - an invaluable team member confidante and friend? OK, Judas didn't work out so well in the end, but it was a good try. Robin to Batman was more of an apprentice, and they had fun when that red Bat Phone wasn't ringing. Aqua Man? George Bush? Case in point. Not as successful. Dick Cheney reminds me of Hannibal Lecter, but I don't want to go there before breakfast. Although serial killers generally get a lot done solo, but there's an exception to every rule.

Moms need associate moms. And I don't mean the kids. Maybe some call them nannies or au pairs. What do you think?

The Onion thinks Christ should have had an Associate Christ. Would have been handy when that started wheeling out that big cross and hardware (in PR, we call that crisis planning).

Check out this audio news flash from my friends at The Onion:

Christ Announces Hiring Of Associate Christ
http://www.theonion.com/content/node/75163

Only a mother could love a face like this

Are you a do-gooder type?

I'm a mom to two great kids. The older one has always tried to take the high road, mortified when other kids flick food and insult lunch ladies. Okay, he laughs, but he generally "tows the line." He's a straight shooter, and I dig every little cell in his little body for that... among other things.

Until this week. Now I'm nervous. I think I'll encouraging Robin Hood to dare to walk a bit on the dark side, thus managing my expectations. I ask you: What Would Eliot's Mom Do (WWEMD)?

Holier-Than-Thou Eliot Spitzer left his pulpit... I mean political career... today with a three-minute resignation - an ending to a career that was fittingly as long as the crime act itself. Check out his uber-frown... now that's the face of a guy who is supremely bummed out. How would you feel if you lost your career of fighting corruption to The World's Oldest Profession? I'd clench my lips together too, displaying my uber-frown. Organized crime and computer chip price fixing simply isn't as fun as prostitution when it comes to getting paid off by a New Jersey madam in "value-added benefits".

From what I hear, Spitzer (aka Client #9) was never a respected, beloved guy. As a kid, playing Truth or Dare with little Eliot was as one-sided as playing charades with a blind guy. This meticulously-maintained, thinly-veiled facade of piety has a big, nasty tear in it that you can't cover up with an applique.

Could my nine-year-old do-gooder ever be this guy some day? Who are the role models for today's whistleblowers, tattle-talers and do-gooders? Karen Silkwood? Linda Tripp? Jeffrey Weigand? Oprah? Brangelina and their merry global band of future do-gooders?

The Onion - A Newspaper That Will Out Last Them All

Elf Finger Found In Box Of Keebler Cookies

PINE MEADOW, CA-Ed Swaney discovered a golden-fingernailed appendage in his E.L. Fudge cookies Sunday.

Stupid Math Tricks: Not Funny... But Fantastic!

I hate math, but these math tricks bring me back to my fourth grade when I discovered how to write HELLO on my solar-powered 1975 model calculator. Or my "Little Professor" calculator, shown here. I really owned this calculator and used it often to calculate earnings as the world's first ten-year-old millionaire with a financial windfall earned from... oh heck, I used it to play math games and to figure out how much allowance I had to hoard weekly to afford the latest K-Tel record.

If you are like me and have a hard time balancing a simple checkbook with the Little Professor, try this math trick on for size. Print it out... it's fun at cocktail parties with invited guests who carry calculators in their shirt pockets!

1. Get a calculator. If you don't have one, use the one on your computer, silly. If you don't have a computer, steal one and then you'll have a computer AND a calculator for math tricks.
2. Key in the first three digits of your phone number (NOT the areacode). Or your drug dealer's phone number. Whatever.
3. Multiply by 80 (the year my Little Professor died of corroded batteries)
4. Add 1 (singular sensation)
5. Multiply by 250
6. Add the last 4 digits of your phone number
7. Add the last 4 digits of your phone number again.
8. Subtract 250 (I know you are looking up to #5 to see if you just ADDED 250. You didn't, silly.)
9. Divide number by 2, because you are sharing this trick equally with a friend.

[drum roll please... the suspense is killing you...]

Ta da! Recognize the answer? Aren't you amazing? Don't you wish being thin and pretty and wrinkle-free were this simple? Is there a cool math trick to make my mortgage payment disappear?

The Randomness of Being [Funny On The Web]

I love Stumble. It's a website. A widget and a window of selective randomness. A virtual slot machine of surfing the web, but it's like having a Vegas uncle who works at a casino who can rig that machine to land on those coveted cherries each and every time.

Once you go on the site and choose from a huge array of check boxes indicating your surfing preferences (mine: cats, humor, cooking, fitness, Buddhism... you get the idea), Mr. Stumble will kindly escort you to only the websites that have to do with your preferences. Get it? It's like having a British butler show you around... one who discreetly knows exactly what you like and don't like. And with bazillions of random websites out there, who has time for randomness if you feel like surfing around for funny stuff?

I also love board games, especially Monopoly. Mr. Stumble brought me to this website with most hysterical iterations of the ever-popular Community Chest and Chance cards. In light of today's news about Eliot Spitzer's $5,000 board game partner (that IS what they were doing in that hotel room, right Client #9?)... maybe DribbleGlass should come up with a new commemorative Spitzer card. OK, that one was too easy.

http://www.dribbleglass.com/monopoly/

Got a Secret?

So... in my vain attempt to be cool, I subscribed to a free, funky, fascinating e-newsletter/website called The Cool Hunter. As a PR consultant, I try to be on top of trends and "what's hot" - and let's face it, trend spotting is just good old-fashioned fun.

In the most recent issue of The Cool Hunter's electronic newsletter, I found a blog called Post Secret, one of the world's most popular sites encouraging people to submit a secret, visually depicted. "In less than a year, the PostSecret website has become the 2nd largest Blog on the web (as ranked by technorati.com this month)."

Amazing... and to think I kept my secrets in my diary where no one can enjoy and share them! What's your secret?

Funny or Die: What do you think?

My good friend Jeremy Warnick, who I think is a rockstar because he interned for me back in the day and wore a Slurpee costume for my 7-Eleven promotions, recommended that I check out the website Funny or Die.

Against my better judgment, I did... and found myself laughing out loud at the Will Farrell-uploaded videos. (Note: some of the other stuff on the site is not so funny, particularly when compared to Will's work.)

Farrell's videos are homespun and darn funny... imagine if YouTubers went to Funny University, and then made some videos as a thesis project. Will uploaded over 20 videos, which is about four or five late nights in front of the computer with one Starbucks hot chocolate after another. (Oh, wait, that's my world and not necessarily yours.)

My favorite videos are the series created with a friend and his toddler... they make the toddler parrot back some pretty seriously funny phrases in the context of baby-as-landlord ("You're evicted!"), baby-as-bad-cop persuading Will Farrell to confess to killing three people... you get the idea. Perhaps the funniest video is the outtakes, where they show Will and friend pleading with this animated but willful little girl to say things that you'd only hear in the checkout line at Wal-Mart. (No heavy duty swearing though. That'd be weird.)

Check it out... let me know on this site what you think.